Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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