20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
