My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
