2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
