I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
