So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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