I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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