walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
