She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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