Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
