Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
