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Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
