We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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