Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
