I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
