soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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