Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
this just has baby written all over it
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
