I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
