Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
