Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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