Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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