After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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