She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
