I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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