why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Sext me about skeletons
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
