he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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