Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
