hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
