well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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