it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
