"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
