Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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