she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
