Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
