had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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