He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
