Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Terrible idea I love it
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
