What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
