I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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