I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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