I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
