would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
