i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
