the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
