Screwed.edu
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
