At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
This is classic penis vs brain.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
