why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
