How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
