My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
