pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
