I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
