I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
