He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
